‘4D Man’ (B-Movie Review) — Part Two

And we are back! With Part Two of my review of this absolutely unbelievable bizarre indescribable example of a movie.

So … let’s get to it, eh? 🙂

And here’s Part One, in case you missed it!

Hmmph …! (Via Cult Film Freak)

Scott is so depressed by Linda’s fickleness that he totally misses the part where the Cargonite is heated and rises like a soufflĂ© from the meat loaf pan! Okay … not really. It merely glows and … is really strong. Maybe even stronger than steel!

So Mr. Carson, the company owner and person for whom Cargonite is named (even though his name is Carson, not Cargon) (I mean, seriously, WTF?) holds a press conference. And while he doesn’t take credit for the discovery, he barely manages to sputter out Dr. Scott’s name. Much to Scott’s chagrin.

Scott: “I vant to be alone.”

So, Scott goes to Linda’s and confronts her about Tony, while Linda listens patiently in another color-coordinated outfit—that also matches her living room decor. They manage to have kind of a conversation, despite interruptions from a very young Patty Duke, who keeps appearing and asking for food. No talk of her identical cousin’s needs here. Anyway, after this fluffy and completely worthless scene, Scott decides he’s going to take decisive action.

Okay. At this point, Scott breaks into Tony’s locker, steals purloins borrows his device, and jams his hand through a block of Cargonite. I think. Anyway, his hand is thrust through solid … something. And it takes some doing to get it out.

Uh oh! (Via Nightflight)

Once that’s done, Scott confides in Tony about what he did.

Scott: You stole my girl, Tony. I borrowed your device and used it.
Tony: Seems fair.
Scott: Don’t tell anyone about this, Tony.
Tony: What about Mr. Cargon?
Scott: It’s Mr. Carson, and especially not him!

When Scotty realizes he can pass through solid objects like a hot fist through butter, he launches into a life of crime.

Via Cult Film Freak.

First, he commits a federal offense by tampering with the U.S. Mail. (But he puts the purloined letter back.)

Via Cult Film Freak.

Then, he nicks an apple by reaching through a grocery’s front window. He even rams a fist through the display window of a jewelry store to grab a shiny bauble. (Which he drops in a fit of good citizenship.) All this to the sound of a rather annoying jazz tune with an extended drum solo worthy of a Led Zeppelin concert.

Via Midnite Reviews.

But when he wakes up the next morning, Scott is looking a bit gray around the gills. In fact, he’s gray all over. The problem is that this 4D machine thingy has speeded him up in time, so that he ages faster than a beach bum trapped in a tanning bed.

Via Cult Film Freak.

So then he visits someone or other (from the Carson lab, I think), claps him on the shoulders, and promptly kills him by causing him to age so rapidly, it’s like that episode of (the original) Star Trek. (The one where some of the crew age rapidly, called “The Deadly Years”. Nothing like The Wonder Years!) Which is ironic since Scott played Gary Seven …

I come bearing a cat!

and color-coordinated Linda played that alien who was “for Amato” on completely different episodes of that very show.

“I’m for Amato.”

And speaking of cats …! 🙂

Meow! 🙂

I have to take a moment to apologize for all the Trekkie references. But, let’s face it—they’re unavoidable.

Where was I? Oh, yeah. The cops become interested after a Big Bank Robbery. (Can’t imagine who the thief might be.) How does a 4D Man carry non-4D objects through solid metal? No one explains this, because then the story would make sense.

Via Wolfmans Cult Film.

Things get really dire when it comes to light that Scott must kill to restore his energy enough to keep from dying of old age, thanks to his 4D-ness.

*****

And thus endeth Part Two!

Stay tuned for more! 🙂

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