‘Billy the Kid vs. Dracula’ (B-Movie Review) — Part Two

Having posted Part One of the review of this rather doubtful interesting example of cross-genre filmmaking, let us now proceed to Part Two!

We go back to Drac and the gang as they settle in for the night at a campground near some Indians. Dracula picks out the fairest of Native Americans maidens to accost. I think her orange lipstick was a real attention-getter. Her lips almost glow with it.

Via DVD Beaver.

Come morning, Mr. Drac has … made tracks. Or beat wings. Whatever. Leaving behind an Indian maiden with Day-Glo lips and unsightly puncture wounds on her neck.

Via Unpopped Cinema.

This unpleasantness causes the Indians to attack the stage coach (the one from which Dracula is conveniently absent), killing everyone. Except Dracula (of course), who wanders by and steals Betty’s uncle’s driver’s license buggy license passport identity papers.

So, to make a long story short—too late for that! I’ve already spent way too much time describing this 73-minute movie—it is Dracula’s intention to pretend to be Betty’s uncle. And a rather overly-friendly uncle at that. He calls himself “Mr. Underhill” and worms his way into Betty’s good graces with the intent to make her his “vampire bride”.

All together now: Ewww!!!

Meanwhile, remember that pioneer family at the very beginning? Well, they show up and Mrs. Olson just knows this Underhill guy is bad news. This is kind of confirmed when Drac attacks their daughter again, and this time she kicks the bucket dies.

Via Trailers From Hell.

So, anyway, Mrs. Olson and her husband move in with Betty, because the (older) woman is convinced Underhill is a vampire. Unfortunately, no one believes her, including (rather incredibly, maybe) her own husband. “See if you get any Folger’s Coffee from me from now on,” Mrs. Olson huffs. (Okay, I made that part up!)

Via Leak Portal.

Mrs. Olson is so freaked out, she lines the windows in Betty’s bedroom with St. John’s Wort or some kind of flowery plant that wards off bats AND vampires. Betty has her doubts about this, since the plant matter hasn’t been FDA or otherwise government-approved. Plus she laughs off the suggestion that her Dear Uncle (who she has apparently never met before) could be a vampire.

Billy, meanwhile, is definitely skeptical. He also has a few run-ins with a thoroughly obnoxious competing love interest/ranchhand. They get into a scrap so bad, Billy must be treated by the local doctor—who once was a retired schoolteacher in The Searchers.

Via The Poster Archive.

And did I mention that Harry Carey, Jr. appears in this film as a wagon master? If they’d invited John Wayne, they could have called this the John Ford Western Reunion/Horror Flick. What a name for a Halloween special, eh? 🙂

*****

That’s it for this week! More to come next time! 🙂

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3 Responses to ‘Billy the Kid vs. Dracula’ (B-Movie Review) — Part Two

  1. I love how you wrote this. So witty (as usual).

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: ‘Billy the Kid vs. Dracula’ (B-Movie Review) — Part Three | I Found it at the Movies

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