‘The Car’ (B-Movie Review) — Part Three

Yes, it’s time to head down the dusty road less traveled and very bumpy continue to the next part of this review of a very, very … inexplicable fascinating bit of cinema history.

It is Part Three of the review of The Car! (bump-bump-bah!)

Apparently, the car is incapable of moving into a place where the dead are buried, because it just sits there right at the cemetery gate.

Via Den of Geek

Ronnie Cox later explains that The Car could not cross “consecrated ground”, which made me wonder why the town didn’t go to a church basement and call in an air strike the National Guard. But … well … they didn’t.

Frustrated by its inability to roll over people who are already dead, The Car pitches a hissy fit and knocks down the cemetery gates. Then drives off in a huff. But not before Cute Girlfriend mocks The Car mercilessly. (She clearly hasn’t heard what happened to Hippie Dude, when he tried to similarly intimidate The Car with bad language and rude hand gestures.)

Via Mondo-Digital

Then The Car really gets it’s ya-yas out by killing a few more deputies. It has a close encounter with James Brolin, who apparently passes out or puts himself into a coma because he can’t believe he took this part and the car disappears—again! Why doesn’t The Car run over Brolin? The better question is why did they spend actual money to make this super-cheesy horror flick?

Anyway, Brolin wakes up in a hospital bed. Eventually, he leaves the hospital and (apparently) returns to full duty, instead of putting in for a lengthy sick leave and getting the hell out of there. And he makes sure that his Cute Girlfriend (who’s named Lauren, BTW, but like I said, who cares?) is chaperoned home by the non-stereotypical Injun Native American cop.

Via Talk Film Society

Unfortunately (again!), Lauren leaves her front curtains wide open, so The Car can see inside her house. And she stands right in front of the window as she talks on the phone to Brolin. And The Car makes its usual revving noises as it barrels straight for the house. At some point, Lauren/Cute, But Stupid, Girlfriend notices the noise and turns toward the window. That’s when she realizes she’s In Danger! But instead of running, she stays on the damn phone. And The Car takes a flying leap right through her window. It’s ridiculous preposterous amazing.

And so much for Lauren the Cute, But Incurably Stupid Girlfriend.

*****

Come back for more about this amazing saga! Next week! 🙂

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